Back to the Rocking Horse

What happens when you are misunderstood? Yeah, I'll start a post like Carrie Bradshaw.

In a few weeks, after I travel to one of America's finest outdoor amphitheaters (Red Rocks) for the first time and get beheaded by the walking, talking minotaur that is My Morning Jacket, I have a decision to make. Truthfully, the decision is already made. Up here in the Northwest the last weekend of August is usually reserved for Seattle's Bumbershoot Festival. This year's lineup includes many bands I like including Band of Horses (whom I love), Lucinda Williams, Beck, M Ward, and others. Sounds like a rollicking good time with a host of friends from Portland who are making the trip. Even our friends' one and half year old will be making her first festival appearance! (Rage it Sloane!) I haven't even heard live versions of Band of Horses' brilliantly melodic second album, Cease to Begin.

However, "Detlef Schrempf" has competition on Saturday August 30th and its not from just any 1980's Western Conference foe. I've got spandex, glam rock, and infectious glee on the brain. At the Oregon State Fair, in the land of giant corn dogs, above average mullets, teenage rat tails, and thick mustaches, the glam, slam, kings of noize will be in full effect! Look no further than what the mother fucking cat dragged in! Poison. The name often conjures visceral reactions in anyone who came of age in the bloated excess of L.A.'s glam rock dominance. Poison's name has been dragged through the mud a million times, often being called the least talented of all 80s glam bands and "undeserving" of their unprecedented success. Nonetheless, three kids from Harrisburg, PA and one from Brooklyn have together sold over 25 million copies of their albums worldwide and provided countless nights of pop rocking joy to millions more through over 20 years of touring. Depending on what circles you roll in, those same visceral reactions may be overwhelmingly positive.

Poison's brand of unabashedly simple pop metal, with huge hooks you could use to land a Florida marlin, seems to appeal to a misunderstood portion of the American population. To put it somewhat simply, most diehard Poision fans aren't writing blog posts this long about why they love the band. Poison's music is not for analysis, except maybe by that brand of hipster who is "ironically" sporting the fantastical cover of Look What the Cat Dragged In on his t shirt. While your average Poision fans' choice of personal style and attire may be stuck in the era of Crockett, Tubbs, and Axel F, their contagious joy at participating in a Poison concert could teach those hipsters a thing or two.

Living here in Portland, indie musics proverbial womb, I get a chance to witness first hand how serious modern music makers and fans seem to take themselves. Though I think the local music scene is fabulous I do get tired at the dour expressions, pale white skin, and lack of full on dance moves that are not intended to show how "badly" you can dance. I will admit that I have sat through a Do Make Say Think concert with a pained expression on my face as they crescendo yet again and I take it pretty damn seriously when Phish drops into a thick Tweezer jam. So call me a hypocrite but pick up Poison's new DVD or better yet catch them on their huge tour this summer all across this country and tell me that the joy you see on their faces is not contagious, rousing, and fun. Poison doesn't have a violin or hand claps, they don't choose political sides and their fans don't stand still at a concert. They are singing about sex...sex...breaking up...and more sex. The girls in the crowd look a little sketchy, the guys maybe more so. But everyone is their to forget about the real world and enjoy the moment, relishing their eight dollar Bud Light proper. Moreover, if you dig a little deeper, you may uncover a bit more to convince you that Poison is a bunch of real life troubadours no different than me and you.

In their heyday, Poison always teetered on the edge of implosion. Bret Michaels and C.C. DeVille struggled to share the limelight. During the mid 90s, when they became musical pariahs, the band cycled through two guitarists while C.C. ballooned to 300 pounds, snorting cocaine as if he was manning Malibu for Pablo Escobar.* Newcomer Ritchie Kotzen ran off with drummer Rikki Rockett's fiance and was promptly dumped on the side of the road in the middle of a tour. After C.C. committed to sobriety he was literally taken in by his Brooklyn family to recover himself and his old band mates. Bret Michaels, of reality show fame**, is no stranger to harrowing realities. He was nearly killed in a car accident, had his solo tour bus shot at, and has lived with diabetes for more than thirty years. Bassist Bobby Dall underwent emergency back surgery a few years ago in the middle of a tour. These guys are not fools. They know they are lucky to be out on that stage in 2008 in front of thousands of fans. The smiles you see are real. In theory, these guys should have been washed up alongside other L.A. glam bands a long time ago but somehow they are out there killing it. Hamming it up for the crowd. Singing about working all week to have a few brews and a screw on Saturday. Poison has literally stayed true to their roots as a good time party band. They bring the joy of being alive in a fucked up world. Make an escape this summer. It's alright if you forget how many "Bops" come after "Unskinny" each time around. Don't worry if you don't remember "Let it Play" (it was track 6 on Flesh and Blood and a late arriving single). You'll flip when you remember how much you loved that forgotten first ballad, "I Won't Forget You". And right before the guitar solo in "Every Rose Has its Thorn" tell me you aren't flooded with nostalgia for that middle school fling that hurt so good when Bret sings, "Though its been a while now I can still feel so much pain. Like the knife that cuts you the wound heals, but that scar, that scar remains". Play it C.C.

People look at me funny when I say I am off to see Poison and they do a double take when I tell them (half-jokingly but totally seriously) that they are my favorite band of all time. When they first reunited the classic lineup in 1999 I saw them at the same venue I had seen Phish the night before. It was an off day on tour and while the other heads rested up I was bringing it home with the boys. My friends then didn't get it and they still don't now. But misunderstanding is a funny thing. Hopefully, what we believe sets us apart. In living out our beliefs and revisiting our sources of inspiration from twenty years ago, is it possible to remember just how it is you started this process of becoming? And when the Bud Light is warm and the stage lights are up this process can return us to our relationships revived, stronger, and ready to rock n' roll.


Check out video of "Nothin' But a Good Time" from Kansas City July 2008.



*Poison's dirty little secret is that Native Tongue and Crack a Smile the two albums they made with Ritchie Kotzen and Blues Saraceno, respectively, were musically more adventurous then any of the albums made with the classic lineup. Both Kotzen and Saraceno are supremely gifted guitarists and seemed to push the other band members out of their comfort zone. These albums retain Poison's hook filled style while really seeking. Pick them up!)

**Try and count how many times Bret says "awesome" in one episode of Rock of Love. Its amazing. My favorite, "You have an awesome soul".

This post sponsored by Carrie Bradshaw.